In the ABC television series Desperate Housewives, Tom and Lynette Scavo seemed to have the most stable relationship in all Wisteria Lane. As marriages and families fell apart all around them, Tom and Lynette would become stronger. Somehow, they would find a way to stay together. But all this while, there was always something wrong with their relationship. To avoid confrontation and disagreements, Tom had decided to let his wife take the wheel. Every decision in the family was, almost always, made by Lynette Scavo. And things worked, or so they seemed.
Then one day, Tom Scavo could not take it anymore. He had had enough of Lynette’s domination. He wanted his seat back. He wanted to lead. Lynette had been in the driver’s seat so long that she had forgotten that she had taken her husband’s place. Furthermore, she didn’t want to vacate and was willing to do whatever it took to hold on to that position. Their marriage fell apart.
That’s always the problem when two people in a relationship don’t play their respective roles. And however great the relationship might seem, it is doomed from the start. Every time the man fails to take the leadership position in a relationship, it crumbles. Every time a woman tries to steer the relationship, the ship capsizes.
Accepting your role
We are wired differently. A man cannot be a woman and a woman cannot be a man. Accepting yourself means accepting the role you ought to play and supporting the other person in their role. They are not superior to you in the relationship, they are just different. Women should know that when you take your man’s role in the relationship, you are essentially throwing him out of the relationship. And pushing him away is equivalent to being in a relationship with yourself.
You know you love him, he loves you too. So stop trying to replace him. Take up your responsibilities and support him in his. He will do the same. That way, when the storm comes, your relationship will not only survive, it will soar higher. Your love for each other will increase a thousand fold.